More than a sperm whale’s worth of relevant conduct

Today in US v. Garcia, No. 04-40963 (5th Cir. July 11, 2005) (available here), the Fifth Circuit, despite applying its tough plain error standard, vacated and remanded a sentence on Booker grounds.  That fact alone (as well as the court’s sensible dodge of an ex post facto argument) makes the case notable for legal reasons.  But the decision really caught my eye because the facts indicated that the “district court calculated Garcia’s base offense level based on relevant conduct involving 48,651.7 kilograms[!] of marijuana.”

For those metrically challenged, 48,651.7 kilograms converts to over 107,000 pounds (or more than 53 tons) of marijuana.  To provide a frame of reference, according to this entry in the whale encyclopedia, the typical sperm whale only weighs 45 tons.  The extreme facts of Garcia cry out for some bad pot jokes — e.g., “… and you should have seen how many bags of potato chips the defendant stole for the munchies.”  Much better jokes from readers, with liberal references to the Grateful Dead or Reefer Madness (or even Raich), are highly encouraged in the comments.